DeepVanilla

I'm kind of just hardcore doodling right now, hope this is fine with you all LOL (go visit my scrapbook, it's exploding atm. XD)
Got a lot to work on for University but I'm trying to get some "real" pictures done too so waiiit and seeee ! XD

I don't feel like drawing at all… maybe because I have to much stuff to do for university, maybe because I have to much stress at the Moment because I moved to Japan or maybe it's because I caught a cold and feel like shit lol. But there is just no motivation at all, no ideas, nothing, I feel empty. It's tiring.

Any Ideas on how to change this? I thought about decorating my room more to make it more into a "good" and inspiring workplace… I also thought that I should try to reduce the amount of work I procrastinated up until now and give myself some time to let the stress go. It's really awkward. I envy those which are all overflowing with Ideas >o<!

I mean, I even walked through animate and book off and all the pretty Artbooks didn't touch me at all, I didn't want to buy anything I was just.. like walking around like a ghost and asking myself what the fuck is wrong with me atm. @_@
I mean, that's just not me ;O;!

Hello, hello my dear readers!
Today I'm molesting you with some serious thoughts about art and live in general.

I had a very tough time the last few months and caught a very bad cold one week ago which gave me time to reflect about my way of living the past few years. Maybe you will identify your own style of living with this because I think a lot of people are struggling through life without having much fun ore free time like I did.

Let me shortly introduce what I mean. I'm studying in my fifth semester atm. (Japanese language and Japanese related courses) and my weekly workload is like crazy. No time at weekends, no time for friends IF I wand to keep my good grades up. Well, this is what I thought till last semester. There was a point for me where I just couldn't get on with this kind of workload. I was learning like crazy, doing homework like there was no tomorrow and had barely any time to draw (which is very important to me).
I was literally working like a machine, but then I changed some things and stopped being all crazy about what I have to do next and what I have to learn and especially about what will happen if I don't do so.
I didn't manage to stop those thoughts completely but lets say I pushed them a bit away from myself. And I became happier. Really. It changed a lot.
Lately I had exams and fell back into those habits but I managed not to stress me out that much.
Right afterwards I became ill and lay in bed for almost one week and OMG it was great. Just doing nothing, thinking about nothing, just wasting time and sleep a lot, it was the best thing that could happen to me I guess XD'
This made me think about today's society in general. I know no one who is not a bit like this. Everyone stresses themselves out about university or work or school or whatever. But why? Is that all that counts in live? If it's about me I think it was the most important thing to me for the past few years. Just being good enough and learning enough and such things. I mean, YES these are important parts of live, but what will it mean to me in the end? What does it mean to be good all the time and learn so much stuff? It's nice to know a lot vocabulary and kanji etc, but isn't it more important to stay healthy and be lucky with what you are doing?

I think for myself it is very important to draw and I had no time for this because I went all crazy about grades and stuff. And I decided to lessen the stress I put onto myself and just do more for myself to be lucky. And it works, even my grades stayed the same, they are still good :3 I think no one should dedicate him or herself completely to such things as work or whatever. It's important, but there are more valuable things in live than money or good grades.

Wahh...so much stuff...but I thought about telling you my point of view and would love to get to know your opinion about this topic :3

Recently i`ve been thinking a lot about changing my drawing-style. My Interests towards drawing are changing at the Moment...the things I want to draw are more Anime/Manga- Related... mhhh..
I 'm also willing to go on drawing J-rock Fanarts but well... cute stuff is just floating my Heart right now and my style can't really display cute things XD It's more about guys and... realistic stuff. Girls are difficult to draw with that kind of style.
Well, I think I'm willing to develope a second Kind of drawing style for myself to forfill my wish to paint cute things cuter :3
gonna work on this issue from now on  (＝⌒▽⌒＝)